Friday, May 29, 2009

Fun with scissors

Did you ever do this? When we were prurient pubescents, (as opposed to the now immature adults), we would cut and paste the Land O Lakes indian princess from this...

To this....

Now, what made me think of that?

Memorial Day Past

See? Doesn't that look homey? The couple camping next to me seemed to have nothing but a tent barely large enough for two and a pot. They seemed content though.

Friday, May 22, 2009


In past years, I've usually opted to stay close to home over Memorial Day. But during the depths of a crappy February, desperate for any glimmer of warmer weather, I made reservations for the first camping trip of the summer. So, heading out early to join the masses, I'll leave you with one of the more moving and poignant scenes from modern cinema.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Dog sitting, late for work

I was late for work today and it was indirectly due to another West Chester blogger. Mary, who writes WC Dish, has a top ten burger review, and it planted a subliminal seed. Last night, after my son's baseball game, I suggested we go to Five Guys, my absolute favorite burger joint. I knew I would pay the gastric gods, but Five Guys are just so burgerlicious. A friend suggested I just bypass the middleman and toss the thing in the toilet. So it took me some more personal time this morning, so what. It was worth it.

This is Bella, (no Twilight connection).
I dogsat (dogsitted?) her last week and she's a sweetie. However, you may notice she's a miniature poodle, which if not careful, can ruin a guy's reputation. I'm grateful she was not newly shorn in her frou-frou poodley cut. Imagine driving up in a manly black pick-up truck with a little fluffy thing poking it's nose out the window. I got through the few days unscathed, but got a few odd looks when I took her out for walks wearing a trench coat, hat and sunglasses.
She's also food obsessed. This dog would suffer through a bowl of mashed lima beans if she saw me eating them. (well, if he's eating them, they must be good!)

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Awesome commercial

Some things you just gotta share. What a great commercial, (must be European, it would never get past the U.S. censors). This is art, I tell ya.


My mom, being a good Christian woman, taught us kids that mutual respect was a God-given right and we should treat everyone accordingly. She was obviously speaking in a time before the state institutions were closed and all the crazies were let loose to roam the streets. These folks have a sixth sense, a radar, that can detect an empathetically raised individual from blocks away. Example, ME.
Last night I’m walking into Sam’s Club and I am immediately accosted by Crazy Cindy the Greeter. Yes, I know some of these people by reputation. She launches into a diatribe about can someone be prosecuted for calling and hanging up ? And it’s not her it’s someone else, but maybe her phone’s tapped, not her phone, but another’s phone, and she just has to know and, …and soon I’m going cross-eyed and inching away., saying “Aren’t you supposed to check those people’s membership cards?” This woman also must be in her mid 50’s, but dresses like a 14 year old and wears electric blue contact lenses. I once saw her riding through town on a little kid’s bike. So, this morning I’m approached by Crazy Eddie the window washer. If he takes his (I’m assuming) meds he’s usually only half crazy, but today he was in full bore muttering loonyness. Ranting about freeloading roomates, druggies, and God making it rain and comparing it to feminine hygiene, cheap millionaires asking for favors, eeeeah! I really gotta get to work, Eddie, I’m gonna be late. He starts to follow, but decides to seek some other soul in the opposite direction. Thank God. I’m now hiding in my office thinking I should eat in for lunch today.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Redneck Potatoe Chips

I got too busy last week or so to post, so I've gotta catch up a bit here. My sister sent me these chips up from Florida, having discovered them and needing to share. God, they're so good and addicting. I try to limit my intake of chips as they're like mainlineing fat and empty calories, and I don't want to hurt my boyish figure, but these may be my downfall. I should be thankful that they're not available in this state, yet.

Sex in West Chester, PA

There's this little sex shop in our town of West Chester, PA, which has been open for about a year now. The proprieter took a lot of heat from the town's moral biddies and a local Catholic priest who tried unsuccessfully to shut her down. Her shop is really rather demure, and anything possibly offensive is safely hidden away in a back room. Victoria's Secret in your local mall is more controversial comparatively. She prevailed over the forces of suppression and censorship and is happily destroying the morals of West Chester, one vibrator at a time. The daily dig is the sandwich board outside. Makes 'em faint dead away.