Thursday, May 14, 2009
My mom, being a good Christian woman, taught us kids that mutual respect was a God-given right and we should treat everyone accordingly. She was obviously speaking in a time before the state institutions were closed and all the crazies were let loose to roam the streets. These folks have a sixth sense, a radar, that can detect an empathetically raised individual from blocks away. Example, ME.
Last night I’m walking into Sam’s Club and I am immediately accosted by Crazy Cindy the Greeter. Yes, I know some of these people by reputation. She launches into a diatribe about can someone be prosecuted for calling and hanging up ? And it’s not her it’s someone else, but maybe her phone’s tapped, not her phone, but another’s phone, and she just has to know and, …and soon I’m going cross-eyed and inching away., saying “Aren’t you supposed to check those people’s membership cards?” This woman also must be in her mid 50’s, but dresses like a 14 year old and wears electric blue contact lenses. I once saw her riding through town on a little kid’s bike. So, this morning I’m approached by Crazy Eddie the window washer. If he takes his (I’m assuming) meds he’s usually only half crazy, but today he was in full bore muttering loonyness. Ranting about freeloading roomates, druggies, and God making it rain and comparing it to feminine hygiene, cheap millionaires asking for favors, eeeeah! I really gotta get to work, Eddie, I’m gonna be late. He starts to follow, but decides to seek some other soul in the opposite direction. Thank God. I’m now hiding in my office thinking I should eat in for lunch today.