Friday, April 24, 2009

Memorable Marketing Blunders

Besieged by a weight loss product named "Alli" online last night brought to mind a short lived, what were they thinking, diet suppressant from the early 80's. Apologies to those in the know.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

It's Earth Day!

I love Earth, it's my home, but it's not good to eat. When I was four or five I filled an empty M&M's bag with earth and ate it to impress a girl. I remember being very sick afterward. But even more important, my calendar informs me today is also "Administrative Professionals Day!" (and it must be important, since there are no other special days on the calendar this month except Easter, Passover, Good Friday and Palm Sunday) So, besides giving the earth a big kiss, I think I get one too. It might be a stretch, but being self-employed, do I not administrate? Who designates these special days? Does the President sign them into law with much fanfare and a special pen? Leafing ahead in the calendar, I notice October 16th is "National Boss's Day", right up there with Halloween and Columbus Day. Gosh, I can hardly wait.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Ahhh, but to camp.

I love camping, the smell of wood smoke, communing with nature, long walks in the woods, drinking too much beer, dancing naked around the campfire under the stars.
A few years ago I bought a pop-up camper. After a lifetime of tenting, sleeping on the ground and feeling like a sponge after a big rain, I decided I really wanted a bit more comfort. I felt conflicted, having been a diehard camping snob, (if you can't carry it on your back, it ain't camping), so I compromised. I found this little trailer, basically a tent on wheels, and which complimented my thrifty nature perfectly. There's no stove or fridge or toilet or shower, nothing the bigger campers have, but it does have lots of storage and a mattress and a roof. I just love it, (screw all you camping snobs, I know you're secretly envious). The first time I was camping in a downpour, snug in my bunk, listening to the sound of the rain cascading off the canvas, I knew I had made the right decision. Now, about those bears...

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Stop, it burns!

(cowering) What is that flaming, blinding orb in the sky? Oh. It's the sun, welcome back! After what has seemed like weeks of rain, we emerge blinking and cautiously like Munchkins from our caves into what appears to be Spring. I knew when the skies cleared, spring would explode all at once causing everyone here in the burbs to panic run to the garden centers with an over consuming need to mulch. Soon acres will be covered with the ubiquitous beauty bark in an attempt to bury the scorched earth of winter. I think it should be made in colors, then your home really could look like OZ.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Auction highlights

I went to a silent auction last night at my nieces high school. The junior class has one each year to raise money for activities and things. The students go around weeks before and cajole, beg and guilt parents and local businesses into donating stuff for the auction. I figured we'd bid on some T shirts or used books, something I could always use, But Noooo, there were Flyers hockey tickets, Phillies tickets, signed baseballs, Jimmy Buffett tickets!. Touch screen Ipod, vacation condos, limousine services, spas and the like. Jeez. (crotchety old man voice), "When I was in high school, we sold candy bars, magazines and stuff we made outa popsicle sticks." I spent thirty dollars or so on tickets and didn't get anything and wasn't ready to part with $200 for Buffett tickets. Needless to say, this isn't an underprivileged and impoverished school district. But they did raise a shitload of money.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

TV or not TV

I don't watch "reality" shows. Can't get into them, don't pay much attention. So, when the show "The Biggest Loser" started showing up, I just thought the obvious. Who wants to watch a show about losers? I figured it was a show about people who slacked or screwed up so bad that it was up to a crew of TV professionals to help straighten 'em out and get their life in order. It was a big "Ooohh" when I found out it was about seriously fat people losing weight.
However, I really like the show reaper. It's about a guy who's father sold his soul to the devil and on his 21st birthday has to become a bounty hunter for satan, catching escaped souls from hell. (The girl with the puppy dog eyes is a plus). I'm hoping it doesn't go the way of other shows on the CW (formally WB) network. They all start out with good imaginative intentions then degenerate into teen soap operas. Like Buffy for example. By the end of the third season, everyone on the show was some sort of slayer, demon, witch, warlock, there wasn't a mortal left in the whole cast. Slaying took a backseat to dating. Same with the witch sisters of "Charmed". A friend of mine insists "Smallville" is close to the comic book but i'm skeptical.

RIP Harry Kalas

The voice of baseball in Philadelphia, Harry Kalas, passed away yesterday. If you grew up here and even really didn't follow the Phillies, his voice was instantly recognizable. It was the sound of Summer and early fall, coming from the TV in the other room, out of car windows, shops and bars. He will be surely missed.

Friday, April 10, 2009

narcism training

I'm thinking that the ability to put stuff out there that everyone needs to read requires a bit of the inner narcisist. Being a generally humble guy and one of the shy people, I feel I need some tools. I found this handy chart., I think it will help

Hey, it's Good Friday!

When I was a kid, a lot of the stores would close between 12 and 3 PM on Good Friday (if you lived in a proper WASPy neighborhood). I think the idea was, you were supposed to go to church and contemplate the time Jesus hung on the cross. My dad owned a hardware store and since everyone there was a heathen, my dad and all the store employees would walk over to the local bar which conveniently did not close. The result of the three hours spent in the bar was, of course, everyone returned to work at 3:00 totally shitfaced. I remember one guy who worked there could hardly stand up, let alone wait on the customers who were waiting outside for the doors to reopen. Ahh, childhood memories. Nothing like religious abstinence.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Technologically challenged

I'll bet all these bloggers I read have those cell phones with typewriter keyboards on 'em. Cameras too. Internet access. Anytime anywhere. That's how they keep up with this stuff.
I do have a cell phone, but there's this little crank on the side that you have to wind to get a dial tone. Of course it only costs me 15 bucks a month, whereas if I had all that other stuff, I bet it's a minimum of 50.00 a month. I'm not cheap mind you, just thrifty.

This is hard

I signed up with this blog thing cause I wanted to leave comments on another's site and I didn't want to be mr. anonymous. So now that I have this thing here, I feel pressured to write something. How people tap the ability to type away with wit and wimsy in entertaining streams amazes me.

Yay! new blog!

Just getting started, I'm new to this, so allow me a bit of time here. Thanks!